tough day!

So I don't normally share our struggles on here, but as a sense of journalling for myself I thought I should get my thoughts on paper. Over the last 2 months P at 2.5 years old is having a very hard time leaving his house or the places we visit. About a month ago, I took the boys to McDonalds with the neighbor and her boys to play in the playroom and have a quick lunch. P had such a hard time leaving that I had to climb up the tubes and down the slide to get him out. Kicking and screaming, fighting to get out of his car seat the whole way home. Once we were about 3 minutes from home, we came to a mutual understanding that he was tired and wanted his blanket and dog and to go night night. Once we figured that out, we continued to repeat what he wanted, which kept him calm. Once inside he was still crying, but went to bed and laid down- only to get up and apologize to me before going off to sleep. At the time I was sure that I had a planned worked out for future outings. We would set a timer, give warnings, remind him of the rules before leaving and once we first got to our destination. And the big one, watch the time so ensure that we had plenty of time to get home before he was too tired, and needed to settle in for nap time.
Today, we took a trip to the zoo. It was super nice today, and thought we would take advantage of it. P was pretty good; although he wasn't sure he wanted to leave the house at first but once there I only had to remind him of the rules a couple of times.- holding hands, listening, stopping when I say stop. I watched the clock closely and told him that we would have time to see a few more animals and then it would be time to go home and snuggle before nap. I again reminded him that after we saw the girrafes and elephants we would need to make our way back to the car. That was the start of his screaming. I carried him, talked to him, reminded him of the rules, talked about the fun things we would do at home. He fought me and hit me the entire way. Once he saw the animal farm he was even more mad, and wanted to see the pigs (the sign has them, however our zoo does not have live pigs). I told him that we could see the cows, but there weren't any pigs at this zoo. He went balistic! yelling, running, and I had to force him into the wagon and proceeded to pull the wagon towards the exit. P was able to get himself half way out of the wagon, so I stopped, and picked him up again. He punched me and screamed in my face.
Anyway- after another embarrassing drag out and fight to get him the carseat in the car. We were again 3 minutes from home when we came to the agreement that he wanted Blanket & Dog & Mama. We repeated this the rest of the way home. You want out? yes, you want blank? yes, You want Dog? yes, You want mama?, yes, you want night night?, yes, you want blank? P will get dog, P will get blank, etc. This seemed to calm him down and as soon we pulled in the garage and I was able to get him out, he hugged me and said sorry. We went in the house and he got his nap things and got ready for nap.
My neighbor, the wonderful mother and friend that she is, assures me that this too shall pass. It is a phase she went through with her oldest son, and understands what I am facing. P has moments when he will pitch a fit at home and usually he will say he is done and what he wants at the end of it. Sometimes it can last 30 minutes, that is the most stressful 30 minutes of my life.
I recently read a book that recommends repeating what they are saying during their tantrum to validate their feelings- he just gets more worked up the few times I have tried that. I feel pretty stupid too, for basically having a tantrum myself and feel as though that may only encourage him to act that. The times I have noticed the repeating his feelings/wants working is when he is a little calmer, and letting him know that I hear what he wants and understand it. That once I am able to I will get him those things. And once we have reached that understanding it usually improves quickly.
Please Lord, let this be a quick phase of our journey. I love my son, and want the best for him. It is challenging to see him act that way, and frustrating when I feel as though I can't control him, or start to lose my patience.